Time for a new post......

So much has happened since my last post it really is time for another.......warts and all I'm afraid!

I seem to have come under some 'criticism' a bit  lately from a variety of sources and true to form I take it on the chin and to the most keep shtump, as not to hurt peoples feelings! Well they do it to me without thought so, if I do offend anyone with this then I am sorry. But in the words some of you have said to me 'It's a free world' and If you are allowed to get tings off your chest that bother you, then why aren't I ??

I have always been an extremely hard worker. At the age of 17 I joined the RAF. At 21 I resigned left the RAF to pursue a career in nursing. At the age of 25 I became a single parent (through no real fault of my own) with a 18 month old baby. I worked hard and made a career for myself, buying my own house and sometimes not only working my main full time nursing job but also have 2 other part time jibs on the side to help make ends meet and help us to have holidays and run a car. I never even had a landline phone! I didn't always get it right, but who does, life is a learning curve!

I have always been a very happy person and always strived to help others even though I sometimes I put those closest to me second. I have however always been there for my family and everyone when they have needed me.

In 2006 I had my first bout of Ill health, I was diagnoses with 'skin cancer' the malignant type! I was not a big sun worshiper and the place where it was had never really seem the light of day lol. It was however caught early and surgery was all I needed. I got the all clear in 2009.

If you have been reading this blog you will already know that in 2011 I was diagnosed with advanced, inoperable Lung Cancer, despite having NEVER smoked. I was given literally 3-6 months to live without treatment or 6-12 months with. To date I am still here 2/12 years later. This hasn't been easy, it has been a battle but I have never once felt sorry for my self or complained.

Firstly I had to get over major surgery, It was they only way to get a diagnosis after 15 months of visits to gp etc. Diagnosis was all the surgery did as by the time they 'went in' the main tumour was 11cms and had already spread throughout my lung and into the pleural space, putting me at a stage 4 and giving me a 4% chance overall of seeing 5 years. I was in my 40's!

I decided that I was not going anywhere without a fight, but also realised very early  that although I was a fighter there were so many people out there who were not like me. People who were frightened, people who were ashamed because they had smoked and people who could not see the light at the end of the tunnel because of the 'sats' they had read and been told. I set out from that point to do my best to change this and fight for everyone. To put myself out there no matter what people thought of me. And... to try and change the opinions of the small minded. Only then may we see some change in attitudes and some much needed funding into lung cancer research!

Lung cancer remains the BIGGEST cancer killer, killing more people that many of the other cancers combined! It is the BIGGSEST cancer killer in women. Killing more women that breast, ovarian and cervical cancers combined yet it gets less than 5% of research funding!

My battle has been an very hard struggle....I still get blamed for 'smoking' when I first tell anyone I have lung cancer. No wonder many patients keep quite about it! On the whole 25% of people getting lung cancer have NEVER smoked, but that still means that 75% of people who get it DO!

I am against smoking (apology to smokers) I hate it!  My cancer could have been and probably was triggered by passive smoking. I do however understand the addiction etc to an extent, however I wouldn't wish this that I am going through on anyone. Hopefully it wont happen to you but the chances that it will are far higher if you continue to smoke than they were for me! Knowing this why do you still do it? Live a day in my shoes.....I can't plan a future anymore, I have to live 3 months at a time between CT scans and looking out for 'symptoms' that says my cancer is growing/spreading!!!!! I have recently lost a good friend because of my views on smoking, but if smokers have the right to justify why they do it, why can't I say why I think they are fools to do so....I just hope this never happens to you and in your minds it never will. No one deserves lung cancer, smoking or not or why increase the risk?


Another thing I have been doing since diagnosis has been throwing myself into raising awareness and funds for lung cancer. Changing attitudes has been the biggest hurdle. Often no one wants to hear, especially the press and media! Only this year (2 years down the line) did I really manage to get the story into the mainstream press, and that because the wife of BBC journalist Robert Pestons' wife died (an also NEVER smoker). We forget however that an even more famous British person died of lung cancer but it is never spoken of! HRH King George V1. Is it because he was a smoker!!!!! No one deserves lung cancer, smoking or not!

My fund and awareness raising seems to be getting somewhere if only locally and somewhat on Facebook! It still seems to get me into some sticky situations though! Complete with criticism from others, this upsets me sometimes but not always. The bigger picture is more important.

I had been doing quite well with treatment until October 2012, when my tumour which had been 'stable' (treated with a targeted chemo therapy tablet drug) started growing again. I started to become 'symptomatic' and it was decided that I would have a CT scan every couple of months to watch the progress. In April 2013 it was decided that I need to change to a gruelling intra-venous chemotherapy (Cisplatin/pemetrexed) I didn't start this however until June 2013 as I changed oncologist and moved over to the Care of New Cross hospital as they are a big cancer centre and can give me a better chance! All during this I have continued to do the fund and awareness raising, despite being very poorly at times. I have never just sat back and put myself first. Which is why I find it difficult to believe I get criticism from what I am trying to do! I have decided that I no longer care about the criticism and that I will continue to do what I am doing. None is for selfish reasons, so my friends you are either with me or just leave me to it. All the events I am organising are 2 fold, raising the much needed awareness and funds for lung cancer but also giving back to the public so everyone gets some enjoyment out of it and maybe learns a little.

So... if you would like to continue to support me I would be very grateful, even it means it is my name in 'light's,  to me you are not forgotten.  This story needs a 'face' a 'figure head' and I am willing to put myself out there and be just that, for the greater good. Don't forget I have a death sentence hanging over me and I am sure none of you would really like to change places!