Positive post while I'm buzzing!

Got to write this now for 2 reasons:
1/ I can still remember the 2 'good' days I have just had and ....
2/ I am buzzing fro all the steroids I had pumped into me yesterday so I have the energy at the mo to do it!


......the one thing I don't have though is the ability to spell or even notice things are spelled wrong so you may just have to guess what I mean....I'm blaming that on the steroids as I am trying with 2 fingers at a speed you cannot imagine and I mean FAST!


Yesterday had the LAST of my BIG chemo sessions, the last one ever of that type anyway, will still have to go every three weeks now for maintenance. That is providing this has worked, have scan on Tuesday or Wednesday next (can't remember off top of my head). Told Paul that I may need a wheel chair though to get me there as it is early days after chemo lol.

I then see oncologist the week after to get results and all being well I will start pemetrexed (Alimta) maintenance chemo. I am hoping for a break if a week or so, so that I can feel pretty much like 'me' when I start it than I don't think it will be so hard.

I will do this until it is no longer working or my blood counts are not recovering and I can no longer take it. Then hopefully I will be able to access the new targeted drug Afatinib. Afatibib is not 'approved' by NICE yet although it is in the process. It is however available on compassionate grounds (when all else has failed) through the cancer drugs fund. This is the fund that the current government are trying to abolish! So...we are hoping for one of 2 things, by the time I need it, it will be 'approved' or 2 the cancer drugs fund is still in existence!

I have so much to live for the main thing at the moment is to see my lovely daughter get married, and to be 'giving her away' to her wonderful 'fiancé' who I know will love her and take care of her. <3

I do feel also I need to take some time her to apologise to anyone who feel my recent posts have been a little abrupt/aggressive maybe and not really like me. Please understand that my body has been pumped with 'poison' for want of a better word and lot's of strong steroids! (if you don't know what they do 'google' it Dexamethasone). It's not until the days I feel like me again that I think oops maybe I shouldn't have written that, but at the time it's a different story.

So for the next few weeks something I write may need to be taken with a pinch of salt.....

On the whole I am still positive and I have to hope all I have been through/still going through will be worth it :)